{service}

It's not often that I post about myself on this blog because a busy mom trying to capture every moment of the lives of her ever growing children tends to stand on the side lines cheering for her young ones. And even more so it's not too often that I allow others to see anything other than the strong woman I have become but I feel inspired to share a recent email with you.

I recently read that a friend was taking time to clear her head. When I sent her a note of concern asking her if she was ok she wrote, "Yeah... Just trying to figure out what to do with my life. Hate my job, feeling trapped, not sure what makes sense... ya know?"

This was my reply.

I do know. All to well! I've been feeling the same way for a long time. Recently I decided to throw myself into service and just have faith that I'll find the answers. I was told in a personal blessing many years ago that through service to others especially those I'm not directly responsible for, I can become more Christ like than anything else I will do. I believe that when you're feeling inadequate or a little lost there's a reason. I also believe that through helping others you will find happiness and joy which promotes clarity and allows recognition of indirect answers you've forgotten you needed in situations where its most unexpected. More often than not the simplest act of service can bless the giver as much or more than the receiver.

In my recent efforts to "clear my head and figure things out" I began to realize that maybe I'm not doing my part. I don't know if you're religious at all but have you heard the term "Faith without works is dead"? It, simply put, means you can pray for a job all day long but if you're not out looking for one the lord isn't going to guide to the right opportunity.

Since I'm not exactly sure what it is I need right now I've begun to pray for opportunities to serve. Just yesterday I sent a little text to someone and ended up with a phone call from a worn out mother who just needed help getting her house clean. I took James over for 2 hours and let him play with her daughter while I helped her get her house in order. The time went so quickly as we chatted the morning away behind dish rags and vacuums. Yes I needed to clean up my own home but she needed me to clean hers more.

Did I get the answers I needed? No not yet, but I was happier yesterday than the day before. The answers will come, most likely when I've forgotten I need them. Who knows maybe someone I serve will make a comment that not so much gives me answers but instead sends me down a road elsewhere that will give me the answers. That's how I got into photography. I did NOT want to go back to school after I lost my job a few years ago but I kept getting the feeling I really needed to. So I did. I got all set up to get my CPA. Then something strange happened. It seemed like everywhere I went someone complimented a picture I had taken of Wyatt or a bird in a tree in Mammoth. Slowly but surely I realized I wasn't there to get my CPA I was there because i needed to get a basic knowledge of photography. Had I known that before I started school I would of just said "hey I don't need school to be a photographer" and probably would have gotten so overwhelmed trying to learn how to develop film on my own I'd give up and miss out on an amazing opportunity.

I'm not a "working photographer" at the moment but the timing to gain knowledge was right then and the time will come again when I'll find myself on top of a huge mountain overlooking a valley of yellow and purple flowers with a large format camera in my hands, a pocket full of film and an envelope addressed to National Geographic Magazine just waiting for me to fill it with something breath taking!

Close your eyes. Take a deep breathe. Then open them and look at the world a little differently. See the service needed. A hug to a lonely widow, a pat on the shoulder for the defeated, a bucket of weeds pulled from the neighbors garden, a smile to a stranger, a phone call to an old friend....they're all around you. Just look. You'll find more than you ever imagined. I promise.

Hugs,
Keriann

It is not a normal habit of mine to share personal conversation so openly. Maybe sharing this is an inspired form of service. Maybe it will spread out to the heart of some else who was in need of the words shared between this friend and I. Whatever the reason, I'm grateful for the opportunity.